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There are songs that glorify women’s big behinds and undoubtedly there are men who love, really LOVE a big butt on a woman. There are even cultures in our world who not only make women stuff fabric and pillows into their dresses to appear rounder, there now are plastic surgeons who give us permanent butt implants.

Men who love big butts are women’s blessings, at least to those women who get to enjoy that very asset on themselves. Thank goodness for movie stars like Jennifer Lopez who think that their big rear ends are their best assets - we are truly given a break here. All of this is great but what if your butt is twice the size of his and clearly you look like you could whoop his little tush?

So what if you’ve gained weight and your man is not all that pleased with your new “loafs of bred” crowning your mid section? For starters, if your g-string still has at least a one-inch visibility somewhere around your waste line, you may be okay. When it’s buried completely and neither you nor your partner can see that you’re even wearing underwear, that’s when we may need to start shedding some of those tires crowning this curvatious mid-section.

In all seriousness, it doesn’t really matter what they think of you in your birthday suit, because what we think is the ultimate end-all in boosting our self esteem and confidence. No matter how big you are, if you are confident and pleased with yourself you will be a Goddess in the bedroom that rocks his world. When you look in the mirror and you are pleased and tickled happy by your own curves is when you have reached a level of self-esteem that rarely gets enjoyed by women.

The other challenge is that the other person’s facial expressions change as soon as they see us naked. His face either reflects pleasure and turn-on (besides many other drool-causing emotions) or disappointment and let-down. We then pick up his facial expressions, which is information we use to formulate how we want to react and feel about what just happened on that man’s face when he saw you naked.

Our beauty is fleeting (and boy is it fleeting alright!), inner beauty, however, is here to stay. Confidence and happiness are soul qualities. So let’s focus on these first, the gorgeous and sexy body that will make heads turn will follow automatically.

The following insights can help in regaining confidence:

1. No matter how unattractive you feel because of your weight, do nice things for yourself first because those things help you start feeling better about yourself. 2. Start wearing matching underwear and bra, even if no one will see it, you will know it. 3. Light a candle for yourself when you eat (by yourself) or when you take a bubble bath or just read a book. 4. Get a pedicure even if it’s winter time and no one can see it. You see it every day and that’s all that matters. 5. Let go of feelings of jealousy about skinnier women and be at peace and know that nothing can take your divine place and no one can steal your man from you if he’s truly your man.

Nothing that truly belongs to you can be taken away from you, so the spending energy being jealous about another woman is spent in complete vain. Remember that there is no such thing as competition, if you are with the right person, he’ll love you and will have eyes for you only, no matter what you look like. If you let yourself go and gain weight, he is hurting not because you’re fat or out of shape, but he’s hurting because he sees how your confidence has been robbed and because he sees that you’re unhappy. No man can make you happy because happiness is a state of being, not a state of having. All he wants to see is you happy within your own skin.

PS: If this is not your man and he does give your ultimatums to lose weight or else, let him go so he can chase after women who fit his desires better. This way you are free to work on yourself and get yourself ready for the one and only who truly deserves you.