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At the time of her wedding she wore a size 2. Her pregnancy with her daughter caused her to balloon up to a size 14. A couple of years later she was a whopping size 18. Unfortunately, rather than joining a gym or getting rid of the baby pounds, she was plagued by post partum depression, which “broke the camel’s back;” she demanded that her husband would just have to love her for who she was on the inside. And while he did fall in love with her as a person, she felt unattractive to herself and her voluptuous size 18 and enormous breasts did not help in her feeling the least bit attractive. By this time, however, she had stopped caring.

Perhaps you can relate?

So what are you to do when you feel stuck in a body you don’t want to be in, fighting a depression that makes you feel guilty for having it in the first place since you just gave birth to another life and are “supposed to” float on cloud nine. You’re so uncomfortable that by now you have resorted to slip-on shoes since you can barely bend over long enough to tie your shoes.

Reluctantly you have at least attempted to go back to the gym, but your baby now keeps you busy full time. So you resort to diets and everyone of them fails, causing you to get even more depressed. The list of excuses of why you can’t seem to get that department of your life back on track seem endless.

The strain on your marriage grows heavier and thoughts of leaving this marriage start crossing your mind. What would happen to you if you left?

And yet, life goes on - with or without you!

Here are 5 things that can help you get off to a great start to regain your health and re-ignite a new spark into your partnership:

1. Stop all excuses. Instead of focusing on all the excuses that prevent you from losing weight, start focusing on all the good things that come to you from having a sexy figure. Trust that since you have had a slim figure in the past, you will get there again in the near future. No one is asking you to lose all the weight by next week, just get started and stay consistent.

2. Do it for you and you only. I know it may be a motivation to lose weight for him, and you are in this together, however, getting in shape and getting healthy needs to be about you if you want it to last. You must want this badly enough. You are the one feeling uncomfortable and unhealthy, so do it for you. When your partner is physically attracted to you, no matter what you look like, it’s an added gift and the “cherry on top,” but it shouldn’t be your main focus.

3. No reasons for pouting. There is no reason for you to put your hands on your hips and demanding from him to love you no matter your size. If he truly loves you I can assure you that he loves you no matter what, however, I can also assure you that men by nature are stimulated visually (and they are just as much turned off by visuals). No matter how much you try to bend Nature’s rules, in the end you only hurt yourself by making unrealistic demands of your partner. Instead, learn to work with nature and ask Life to help you create a perfectly healthy and sexy body once again.